Dairy Free

Korean kalbi is soy-marinated chuck flanken-style beef ribs grilled quickly and eaten with rice wrapped in crisp lettuce leaves. Our cheater kalbi uses the same soy-based marinade, but is cooked as a stew in the slow cooker. We usually swap the traditional flanken ribs for regular beef short ribs, which have larger bones that fall right out, leaving a nice pile of shredded meat. Short ribs are also easier for us to find. Set the table taco-style with iceberg lettuce cups for shells. Along with the meat, stuff the lettuce shells with Korean kimchi, white rice, green onions, and hot peppers. We throw in some fresh cilantro, too.

Hobo Crock 212 Brisket combines outdoor cheater dry rub and indoor hobo crock cooking with traditional mother-in-law brisket ingredients. The slow cooker creates the moist low-heat environment critical for good brisket and, since it takes a while to cook, you can leave it for hours. Leftover brisket is extra good for any of the Two-Timing Cheater variations (see pages 176 to 187).

Chipotle peppers add deep, smoked heat to this cheater brisket, which is otherwise cooked with all the regular barbecue elements. The leftovers are outstanding, so cook the big one and stock up for your upcoming Mexican fiesta featuring brisket chili, nachos, tacos, or burritos.

Despite his growing appreciation of cheater skills and methods, R. B. is still a little sore about the time his outdoor hickory smoked ribs (barely) lost the blind taste test against our cheater Texas Beef Ribs. Sorry, R. B., the kids preferred the smoky, supermoist, easy indoor version. The bigger surprise was finding a distinct outdoorlike crust on the slow cooker ribs. Because the ribs weren’t simmering in sauce, the crust had a chance to develop. We didn’t even need to finish them off under the broiler or on the grill. In the pork-crazy mid-South, beef back ribs are a rarity. Now that the in-house tasting staff has ever-so-slightly favored the cheater style, we’ll not hesitate to jump on a good-looking rack, regardless of the weather.

Flanken-style ribs are beef short ribs cut across the bone (not parallel to the bone like short ribs), a half inch to an inch thick. This thin cut gives you a slice of beef with little oval rib bones evenly spaced throughout. Flanken-style ribs will turn mildly chewy and tender when slow-cooked long enough to render the fat and connective tissue. Since they like a little last-minute finish on a grill or under a broiler, they’re a good choice for slow-cooking in advance. The high-heat finish brushed with Dijon mustard crusts up the meat juices. Brush the ribs with bottled smoke before slow cooking, if you like. Be sure to set the ground rules before dinner: Chewing on the rib bones is encouraged.

One of our top five cheater recipes was inspired by a summer cookout at the Nashville hideout of songwriter/producer Desmond Child, the genius behind scores of hit songs, including “Dude Looks Like a Lady,” “Livin’ on a Prayer,” and “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” Margarita, a member of Desmond’s Miami posse, is an excellent cook and veteran cheater. The chart-topping single of the incredible Cuban feast was Bar-B-Cuban Chicken. After marinating chicken legs and thighs overnight, she cheated big-time by cooking them in the oven before the party. In a matter of minutes, the precooked chicken was effortlessly seared on the grill in a showy haze before a live audience. Garlic and tangy lemon not only filled the air, they had penetrated deep into the meat (and our clothes). Margarita admitted, “I don’t measure and I always use too much garlic. I say, it’s good? No. More.” “How much garlic do you use, Margarita?” “Too much,” she said. This is our cover of Margarita’s smash hit.

Grilled chicken marinated in Worcestershire and soy sauce was one of the first things R. B.’s Gourmet-subscribing mother, Loie, taught him to cook. It was probably the first marinade he’d ever tasted, and he loved the way it quickly permeated the chicken skin with color and the meat with salty flavor. Later on, he discovered that Loie’s salty black concoction is a common barbecue trick available at the supermarket under several labels. Both the popular store blends and Loie’s homemade pack quite a punch and don’t need much time to work up some flavor on chicken or beef. Here is Loie’s cheater recipe, which you can easily double and store in a sealed container in the fridge. Use it for chicken or a Gunsmoke steak cooked on the grill, in a skillet, or under the broiler.

Adobo is a Filipino obsession like barbecue is in America. The key is slow cooking in a mix of Filipino sugarcane vinegar and soy sauce. We think it has a sour-salty vibe similar to American vinegar barbecue sauces. Filipino sugarcane vinegar is soft and mild, more like Asian rice vinegar than cider vinegar. We stumbled on it at the international market along with Filipino soy sauce. If it’s in Nashville, it’s probably available in most cities in the United States. Not to be confused with Mexican canned chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, this Filipino adobo is a simmering pot of chicken in a tart, salty bath of what probably looks like too much vinegar and soy sauce. You can crisp the chicken on the grill or under the broiler after cooking. Sometimes we use the slow cooker for a pile of soft pulled adobo chicken. Leave out the water and cook the chicken on high for three to four hours. You can also cook beef short ribs or pork butt in the same mix. Whatever the meat or the method, serve it with plenty of white rice.

About fifteen years ago R. B. thought his next-door neighbor, who was out grilling some chicken, called him a jerk. Back then, R. B. hadn’t heard of jerk seasoning, and his neighbor seemed like a nice, quiet fellow who pretty much kept to himself. When R. B. turned down the Bob Marley, everything got straightened out, and the chicken was delicious. A jerk dry rub requires allspice, thyme, and some heat. The Scotch bonnet pepper is the traditional choice, but that’s too many Scoville heat units for us. We keep the heat out of the rub, then sprinkle on cayenne to customize the chicken to suit everyone.

Let’s face it, everything tastes better with bacon, especially chicken breasts in need of a little fat and flavor. You know by now that the boneless, skinless chicken breast is not our top choice, but with a little rub, some smoke, and slow, moist cooking these breasts are okay and ready for casseroles, soups, and sandwiches. Skip the bacon if you’re on a fat-restricted diet.

Poaching sounds chef-toque complicated, but simmering meat in a liquid on the stovetop is pretty straightforward and keeps the kitchen cooler in hot weather. Better yet, poaching is especially good for keeping the usually dry chicken breast meat moist. We even add a smoky component to the poaching liquid for terrific smoked chicken salads and sandwiches. For chicken salad, aim for a balance of smoke, sweet, and savory. The smoke really takes to fresh and dried fruits like green apple, pineapple, mango or papaya, raisins, dried cherries, or cranberries. Parsley and green onion are always a good choice, and celery and good mayonnaise are a must.

The hobo crock method was inspired by R. B.’s Boy Scout campout foil hobo-pack cuisine. Cheater hobo crock meats take advantage of this simple method for infusing foods with flavor and trapping moisture. Meats are tightly wrapped with seasonings and bottled smoke and placed in a slow cooker. The cool thing is that you won’t open the pack to find a pile of soggy skin and bones, as you might expect. The chicken maintains its structure, browns on top, and can be carved and sliced. This method will also successfully tame a beef brisket (page 113). Indoors or out, the only issue we have is over the grade of aluminum foil for wrapping the bird. R. B. requires heavy duty—one of those barbecue guy things. Min uses the thinner, everyday stuff because she knows that the juices are going to leak into the crock anyway, so who cares whether the cheaper foil springs a hole or two.

A pork loin is a roast of uncut pork loin chops. Leaner than pork shoulder and cheaper than pork tenderloin, it’s a popular cut for grilling and slicing to feed a crowd. It’s also perfect for any one of our Cheater Brines (pages 77 to 78). Our cheater meat slicer is a compact electric knife—the affordable, no-frills, unsung hero of kitchen appliances. R. B. calls it the indoor chain saw. Ultimate Cheater Pork Loin sliced paper-thin will make a pile of Cuban Fingers (page 176).

A crock of pulled smoked chicken is the original white meat’s answer to pulled pork. And because it’s chicken, it has endless uses in sandwiches, casseroles, soups and stews, tacos, and burritos. The key is having the chicken cooked, pulled, and ready to go; then you can bid farewell to that dried-out supermarket rotisserie bird. An hour in a simple saltwater brine adds moisture and freshens up the bird. We limit brining time for smaller cuts like chicken pieces and pork chops to an hour to keep the salt flavor under control. When we brine for longer periods, we usually go lighter on the dry rub or switch to Cheater No-Salt Dry Rub (page 47). To us, the best pulled chicken is all dark meat or a light and dark meat combination. If you use breast meat only, the meat will be stringier and noticeably drier. There’s nothing you can do about it except brine first and add sauce at the end.

No, even we can’t live only on pulled pork barbecue. Now that we’ve taken you through the fat trenches with delicious pulled pork aplenty, here’s sensible lean tenderloin that’s quick to brine and broil. Don’t overcook it, or it will taste like sensible shoes. Take the flavor in any direction with your choice of dry rub. The cider-soy brine is essential for keeping the “tender” in the ultralean tenderloin and adds a nice penetrating flavor that’s impossible to get with a quick topical seasoning. Change up the brine to keep things interesting. Any of the brines on pages 77 to 78 will perform the same juicy service.

Long ago R. B. learned that grilling hot dogs and sausages isn’t as low-stress or as simple as it sounds. He’s still recovering from childhood campfire hot dogs that turned out more like bike inner tubes. R. B.’s current recovery program requires him to just let it all go. He tries not to be an annoying guest at casual barbecues or hover nervously near the grill when a distracted host leaves his post. Dogs on a grill need to be watched or they’ll quickly run away from you. When done right they get a light char and a bite that pops. Since game day is supposed to be about the game and the guests, get the dogs done before the national anthem. The key to dogs lasting well into the postgame commentary is the slow cooker. Before the game, grill, broil, or pan-char your sausages—brats, knacks, red hots, kielbasa, smoked turkey and chicken sausages, even those basil–sun-dried tomato–mango brands. Keep them warm in spiked hot dog “water.” Use the recipe as a guideline. A large slow cooker can easily keep 5 or 6 pounds of dogs in a hot steamy bath. Just use enough liquid to keep the dogs partially but comfortably submerged, adding more water if needed. Once heated through, the links will be ready as long as the cooker is plugged in. And if the slow cooker is tied up with your famous chili or nacho dip, put a heavy-bottomed covered pot over low heat on the stove. Otherwise, grab an extension cord, set the slow cooker on the coffee table, and you won’t even have to leave your seat.

Chinese ribs were oven ribs long before oven ribs were cool, as of course we all agree they now are. They’ve never had to suffer the embarrassment of being dragged off the patio and into the kitchen. Their only taste of the outdoors is with the delivery guy. Cooked right in the sauce, uncovered on a baking sheet instead of wrapped in foil, the rib meat has a nice chewy bite. Chinese chili sauce brings home the flavor. You can find some in the international section of a well-stocked supermarket. The bright red-orange sauce is thick and sweet like ketchup, and hot like pepper sauce (but not as vinegary). Substitute ketchup if you like less heat. Double or triple the recipe whenever possible.

You can’t pick them up with your fingers or gnaw the bones, but country-style boneless “ribs” make nice pork barbecue. We like this hot-covered-pot-in-the-oven method to speed things up without sacrificing taste or tenderness. Moisture and smoke are trapped inside and the pork’s fat keeps the meat from drying out. If you’re among the 20 percent of households without a slow cooker, this is for you.

Min’s uncle Mike and aunt Mary of Belen, New Mexico, spend their free time on the banks of the Rio Grande in the little resort town of Truth or Consequences. The town’s name change from Hot Springs occurred back in 1950 when Ralph Edwards, host of the popular radio show, announced that, to celebrate the show’s tenth anniversary, Truth or Consequences would broadcast from the first town to rename itself after the show. Forward-thinking civic leaders jumped at the opportunity for free publicity and to instantly differentiate their town from the hundreds of other Hot Springs across the country. The name change vote passed and Ralph Edwards became a town hero. Now, everybody just calls it T or C for short. After a day relaxing with high-speed toys on the nearby Elephant Butte Reservoir, Mike and Mary regularly welcome a brood of sunburnt kids and friends with a patio barbecue. Elaborate cooking is the last thing on anyone’s mind. This throw-it-all-in-the-slow-cooker chili pork barbecue (or try it with beef chuck roast) lets Mary have as much fun as the rest of the gang. Serve the meat with warm tortillas, guacamole, shredded lettuce, onions, and plenty of Pecos Pintos (page 147).